What I Wish People Understood About Semesters Abroad: For Those Going and Those Sending Someone

What It's Like to Readjust to the US

They say it takes five weeks for your body to completely adjust to a new time zone, thus making the jet lag worse. If it takes five weeks for your body to simply adjust to a time zone, imagine all the other, more complex adjustments like language, customs, lifestyles, and mindsets. But also, think about how few times your body has actually adjusted to where you were. How often do you go somewhere for five plus weeks? Besides for school and camp, this was my first time, and, let me tell you, I adjusted. I adjusted and am still waiting out the five weeks to adjust back.

I kicked jet lag in a day or two, but there are so many lingering aspects of France that rest in my heart and mind. I want them there because that was an important season of my life, but there are also times when it hurts like crazy because so few people around me truly understand what I am going through. It's like having a little piece of me missing, and I can't get it back because it is across the ocean in another country, another culture.

I've had things surprise me in the US after returning, but I've never experienced culture shock from any of my previous trips and this was not what I expected it to look like. In fact, it is almost the opposite. I slipped back into life in the US so easily and quickly that the past four months feel like ages ago, if even that. Sometimes, I think it was all an amazing dream, and, in a sense, it was. It was everything and more than I could have ever dreamed of. I grew and learned in incredible ways. I saw the world and came back with a new perspective on my own country, seeing the hope and faith but also how broken it is. I learned how capable I was and how important it is to me that I make a difference with my life. I came back a new person -- more confident, more open, and more free. The thing is, I came back to a bunch of new people also. Everyone has grown and changed some. Life continued, and new memories were made without me. So that's where I'm at -- figuring out how to introduce everyone here to the new me while also bridging the gap in our relationships that they don't even know exist.

Have I ever regretted studying abroad? Only before I went. There was a time that I was so nervous about going and coming back to everyone being closer friends and having to find my way back into my circle. There was a time I was afraid of missing out on all the memories. That all changed when I got to France, and there was no looking back. I had endless opportunities to make unforgettable memories with other people who had similar interests but were also completely different from me. Everyone in the US got closer without me, but they still love me and want to see me. I know God has a plan, and He will direct me to where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be with. As they say in France, "on verra." There's nothing I can do about it now besides thank God for the amazing experience I had in France and in my other travels.

I know it seems obvious, but I would never have guessed how changed I would come back after living abroad for four months. That seems like such a small fraction of my life, but it was so extremely unique that it made a world of difference. I like who I am now more than I liked the old me because this version isn't as afraid to let herself out of her shell.

How to Ask Questions About A Semester Abroad

I just want to finally free the goofy, sassy, bubbly version that has been raging inside of me. I want to live label-free. Before, I was the quiet girl; I always have been. Now, I'm the French girl. That seems to be all people can say about me, but they know so little about what France and this past semester has meant to me. To them, it's an easy answer, an empty word that seems to sum up everything that's happened lately in my life, but they don't know what's happened. Occasionally, I get the, "How was France?" and a face that tells me they want a 30-second response. Other times, I get the, "What country was your favorite?" or, "What was the weirdest food you ate?" Those are fine questions to ask, and it shows people at least want to know a little, but the things constantly running through my head have nothing to do with food or places I went. That was all great, but I want people to understand that there was so much more. There was so much that was infinitely more important.

The best conversations I've had about my experience all involved people who had either studied abroad themselves or who actually asked the deeper questions and tried to understand. Sometimes, I don't have an answer for their questions. I'm still trying to process it all myself, but I like knowing that people care about more than the surface.

Going into this past semester, my goal was to know by the end if I could see myself living in France. I loved the semester so much and wish I could be back there right now, but I still don't know if I see myself living there permanently. That's a crazy big and intimidating question, so my answer is still that I don't know. I hate saying that. I hate having to admit that the whole purpose of going still remains unresolved, but I like that people have bothered to remember that and check-in. I also like that the new French side of my head says not to worry about all that yet and take life one step at a time, so that's what I plan to do. I have the rest of my life to figure out where I want to live because it's never too late to move. There are easier times, but it's never too late.

My roommate this year has also been great with trying to understand. She asked how it was being back, and I told her that it was good but also really weird because there were so many things people would never be able to understand. She simply said to tell her about them. When I did, she didn't pretend to understand or know exactly what I was talking about. She commented with phrases like "they sound..." or "that sounds..." to show that she heard me and was trying to understand but would never know for sure if she got it, and that was so refreshing. It helps that she has been to France twice and can relate to the language, certain stores, certain customs, and other little things. It is great!

That is also why it has been so important to talk to other people who studied abroad. Whenever I see someone else who studied abroad, I get really excited to talk to them because, so far, it seems like everyone is having that distant dream feeling and trying to readjust, and it feels so nice to know I am not alone in that. To know that other people do understand.

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5 Things to Know about Those Who Have Studied Abroad

1. They changed a lot while they were gone, so be ready to accept those changes. Try not to always point out the differences because everything feels different for them, and even good different can feel overwhelming when they don't know how it'll mesh back with their life.

2. While they changed abroad, you changed some too. It's natural and good, so we often don't even realize it until way down the road. When someone is away for a while and returns, though, they are more likely to notice it. Give them a little extra grace because they are trying to adapt to you too.

3. Understand that they really were studying while abroad. While they might have been able to travel a lot, they were still going to school. In fact, a lot of study abroad programs tailor class schedules and assign a bit less homework to give students more time to travel, so lots of travel does not mean they were skipping class or homework all the time.

4. On the other hand, travel teaches you so much. A semester abroad is not a vacation. They were constantly learning, experimenting, and growing. Every moment is important and impactful.

5. Making jokes about how much study abroad students talk about their time abroad is not helpful. We know we talk about it a lot, but we can't help it, and we shouldn't have to. It was an impactful semester, so it is going to come up often. And as difficult as it is for us since you will probably never fully understand it no matter how much you think you do, we really do want you to understand.

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6 Things Students Going Abroad Need to Know

1. You will make some of the most amazing memories of your life during your semester abroad.

2. Some of the more photo-worthy moments will be abroad, but most of your favorite memories will most likely be in your host city.

3. Showing pictures to family and friends will help them understand, but it also only shows the picture-worthy moments and a couple other random ones. Some of the really special moments will be the really normal ones.

4. People will expect you to do crazy unique things in your free time abroad, but, most of the time, you will just do normal things like hang out in cafes, walk through the downtown area, or go to movies. That's not a bad thing, and it doesn't mean you are wasting your time. In fact, it means you are experiencing the culture because that is what the locals do too.

5. It is ok if you do not have the answers to every question when you return. It takes time to process everything you went through, even if you don't realize you are still processing. It is nice when people try to understand, though, so try to tell them something about your semester, even if it really doesn't relate to their question at all.

6. Talking to other study abroad students is the best thing when you return. Even if they went to a different country than you did, they will understand the feeling of going, falling in love with a new place, and having to return and readjust to a very different lifestyle. Honestly, talking to someone who understands is the most refreshing thing, and I assure you that the other person will also be very glad to talk about it with someone else who understands, even if you aren't super close.

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All in all, studying abroad is great. I honestly could not have asked for a better experience, and I am so excited to tell anyone and everyone who will listen about it. I have been telling everyone at my school who asks about it and expresses even a glimmer of interest in studying abroad that they should go if they can. Deciding to study abroad was one of the best decisions of my life. A friend who studied abroad in Paris told me the other day, "It's study abroad. How could it not be amazing?" and she was absolutely right. Sure, there are some challenges that make you want to pull your hair out. There are some days that will be insane, and you'll wish you were home. Most days, though, you'll wonder how you could have ever thought that.

Don't let my talk about culture shock scare you away. The fact that you miss it and hurt a little from the separation means that the experience was life-changing and amazing. So, in that case, I'll take it all the emotions with a smile because it means that Strasbourg, along with my study abroad group and all the memories, has a special place in my heart. Thanks to culture shock, I have realized even more how amazing my semester truly was.